For the last three days I have done nothing other than watch Grey's Anatomy. Sure, I could be doing something more useful with my time, but I find the show so intriguing. I think anyone who wants to be a Doctor should watch this show. Not because it has a great storyline (not to mention the lead Doctor is HOT), but because it really shows you how stressful it is to become one. Everyone in the show is trying to become surgeons, but in a way its all the same. Personally, I could never be a surgeon. A surgeon has to think on their feet and be on top of their game. I respect them. I would end up freaking out. Watching this show has freaked me out.
I find this incredibly silly, but this show has got me thinking about if I were to become a Doctor. I think the most that I thought about was what would happen when I want to have kids. I am pretty sure being a mom and a Doctor would be quite difficult. Living a normal life would be difficult. I have been torn, and the thing is I shouldn't be. I haven't even gotten back to school yet, and I am thinking about what would happen. Silly...right?
Along with the show being awesome, there are a few things that discourage me about it. For one, some of the characters on the show should not be Doctors. I believe that Doctors should care, and have excellent bed side manners. I mean your saving people's lives. Secondly, all of these interns came from Dartmouth, Yale, and a bunch of other high maintenance schools. It's making me think that I have no chance whatsoever. My grades in high school were horrible, and my first college experience was horrible. What about if I do make all good grades from now on, and I STILL don't get in. How much of a bummer would that be? All that work for nothing. I do believe that they show how much work it is. That they have correct. Just imagine being there performing surgery, and the next thing you know the person is coding, or one of their blood vessels burst. You have to know what to do, and where to do it. That is why I think being a Pathologist would be awesome. You don't have to really worry about saving a life last minute. I don't want to be responsible for losing someone during the surgery.
Anyways, the whole point of this blog isn't really to talk about how awesome this show is, and how becoming a Doctor is taking over my conscience. I got a call from Baptist Health today and they want me to come in for an interview. I didn't think they were going to call me, so I had given up on working there. When I listened to the voice mail, I hesitated calling them back. I doubted myself working with people, and fear came over me. I have always been that person who wanted to work behind the scenes, or by myself. Taking care of people has been a fear of mine. I don't honestly know what made me call them back, but I decided that it is time that I face my fears. For people that end up reading this, you also should face your fears. Step out of your comfort zone. On Friday I am going to be stepping out of mine. I hope Baptist will give me a chance. That is all I really want, a chance. Maybe being a nurse will make me want to be a Doctor even more, maybe not. All I know is that it is time for me to step out of my shell, and finally grow up.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Things I Miss About High School
My mom asked me the other day if I could change one thing about something I did in High School, what would it be? I told her I wouldn't change a thing because it wouldn't have made me who I am today. Now thinking back on it there are a few things I would change.
The fact is, I can't change what happened in High School. I wish I would have tried harder, and actually try. All of that is in the past, and all I can do now is change the way I am. I have to study more, and actually study. I was never good at taking notes and study methods, but now I am willing to learn (its still possible right?).
The point of this blog isn't really the things I would change, but really the things I miss most about High School. I am not saying I miss High School, but there are a few things that I do miss. I miss flagline most of all. It was tough to be in flag line. Mr. Trusty didn't really like to wait on us to place our flags so we had to run. It was physically, mentally, and emotionally wonderful. That feeling of a crowd watching you as you run gracefully. It was probably the thing I loved most about high school. Now I don't do it. That makes me sad. But as I have said in previous blog posts, I am going to start spinning again. I don't think I should give it up, even if I am not in band. I also miss the schedule that I had. I didn't really like having school at 8 am, but at least I didn't have a severe sleep disorder then. Being on routine was easy in high school. Now it is just hectic.
Even though I do miss a few things about high school, I would never go through it again. The drama isn't worth it. I can say that I had a pretty fair high school experience though. :) And that is one thing that I am grateful for.
- I would change how I poorly studied.
- I would have tried so much harder.
- I would have taken medical classes.
- I would have actually practiced for band, and tried out for All-Region.
- I would have stayed in volleyball
- I wouldn't have dated losers.
- And countless of others....
The fact is, I can't change what happened in High School. I wish I would have tried harder, and actually try. All of that is in the past, and all I can do now is change the way I am. I have to study more, and actually study. I was never good at taking notes and study methods, but now I am willing to learn (its still possible right?).
The point of this blog isn't really the things I would change, but really the things I miss most about High School. I am not saying I miss High School, but there are a few things that I do miss. I miss flagline most of all. It was tough to be in flag line. Mr. Trusty didn't really like to wait on us to place our flags so we had to run. It was physically, mentally, and emotionally wonderful. That feeling of a crowd watching you as you run gracefully. It was probably the thing I loved most about high school. Now I don't do it. That makes me sad. But as I have said in previous blog posts, I am going to start spinning again. I don't think I should give it up, even if I am not in band. I also miss the schedule that I had. I didn't really like having school at 8 am, but at least I didn't have a severe sleep disorder then. Being on routine was easy in high school. Now it is just hectic.
Even though I do miss a few things about high school, I would never go through it again. The drama isn't worth it. I can say that I had a pretty fair high school experience though. :) And that is one thing that I am grateful for.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
A New Dream, Hopefully Soon To Be A Reality
I was thinking the other day about a Gator football game that I went to last year. I can still hear the crazy crowd as they cheer and do the Gator chomp. The entire time at the game I felt like I really belonged there. I didn't really get to see much of the campus, other than that it was beautiful. It wasn't really the campus or the game that got me though. It was the band. I saw the Gator Flag line and I fell completely in love. I don't really know if it was because they were awesome, or if it was just because I miss spinning a flag and dancing. Either way, it felt good. Ever since I started watching countless Gator videos, I have realized that going to UF would be AMAZING.
I used to want to go there back in 10th grade, but something changed my mind. Tessa and I were going to go there together. We literally had everything planned out. I miss dreaming like that. So, I am going to make it my goal to make it into UF. I know it is going to be difficult, but I am sooo determined. Anything to get me on that flag line, that spotlight. Performing in front of 10,000's of people would be so fulfilling. I never really got that moment in Cabot flag line where you have shivers going up your spine. I think it would be amazing.
Another thought I was having was when I first started wanting to do something medical related. My Aunt Judy was in the hospital, and I was spending my entire winter break with her. Then one day I just stopped in the middle of the hospital, and looked around. I could see Doctors and nurses walking graceful and confident. A feeling of belonging kind of swooped over me. I ignored this feeling, and now I kind of wish I hadn't. I should have embraced the fact that I was contemplating over a different career opportunity.
As for why I have decided to go toward the Forensic Pathology side of the medical field, I have no clue. I found it when I was doing some stupid career interest test and when I looked it up, I was hooked. I think University of Florida could get me there. I have decided not to even make goals about medical school or graduate school. I just want to take it one day at a time. I might change my mind, and I am o.k with that. I used to think it was a curse to not know what you want to do with your life, but I am finding it to be kind of fulfilling. All I do know, is that I want to be a University of Florida student. And I am going to try my hardest to get in. I know it will difficult, and I realize that I need to change my study habits, but I want to do this.
P.s. The whole 'What Matters The Most' thing is over. :P I got a little bored with it.
I used to want to go there back in 10th grade, but something changed my mind. Tessa and I were going to go there together. We literally had everything planned out. I miss dreaming like that. So, I am going to make it my goal to make it into UF. I know it is going to be difficult, but I am sooo determined. Anything to get me on that flag line, that spotlight. Performing in front of 10,000's of people would be so fulfilling. I never really got that moment in Cabot flag line where you have shivers going up your spine. I think it would be amazing.
Another thought I was having was when I first started wanting to do something medical related. My Aunt Judy was in the hospital, and I was spending my entire winter break with her. Then one day I just stopped in the middle of the hospital, and looked around. I could see Doctors and nurses walking graceful and confident. A feeling of belonging kind of swooped over me. I ignored this feeling, and now I kind of wish I hadn't. I should have embraced the fact that I was contemplating over a different career opportunity.
As for why I have decided to go toward the Forensic Pathology side of the medical field, I have no clue. I found it when I was doing some stupid career interest test and when I looked it up, I was hooked. I think University of Florida could get me there. I have decided not to even make goals about medical school or graduate school. I just want to take it one day at a time. I might change my mind, and I am o.k with that. I used to think it was a curse to not know what you want to do with your life, but I am finding it to be kind of fulfilling. All I do know, is that I want to be a University of Florida student. And I am going to try my hardest to get in. I know it will difficult, and I realize that I need to change my study habits, but I want to do this.
P.s. The whole 'What Matters The Most' thing is over. :P I got a little bored with it.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
What Matters The Most: My Life and Health
O.k. So this might seem a little selfish and might make me seem self absorbed. But, this is a really true statement. I'm not saying that my life matters the most, but I am thankful that I have my life and the good health that I have. There are so many people with fatal diseases, and I haven't had to go through that (knock on wood) in my life. It just makes me think about how we take life for granted. We went to a funeral today and he was only 61 years old. That is young. The preacher was talking about how he never complained about how he was feeling, even though you could tell he was feeling bad. Also, when he asked how he was he would say "Better than I deserve". Do many people say that? No. They go on and on about how this is hurting them, or how tired they are. Boo hoo, there are people with cancer fighting for their life who complain less than you do. Be thankful you are alive and well. This also made me think about how one minute you can be alive and the next gone. Makes me appreciate life much more. I just thought that since today I went to this funeral, that I would blog about. Kinda makes a combo of normal blog/ What matters the most.
I went to my friend's graduation party today. I had so much fun. Her family is so nice. I really just enjoyed hanging out with her though. I was over at her house for like 8 hours. I was the last person to go home. I even got to eat dinner with the family. Well I should probably get off and get some sleep. Sweet dreams world. :)
I went to my friend's graduation party today. I had so much fun. Her family is so nice. I really just enjoyed hanging out with her though. I was over at her house for like 8 hours. I was the last person to go home. I even got to eat dinner with the family. Well I should probably get off and get some sleep. Sweet dreams world. :)
Friday, May 4, 2012
What Matters The Most: Abigail Suzanne Michaelis
I could go on for hours about how much my cat means to me. But to save you the details, I am just going to rant about certain things that I love about her. I remember when I first got her. We had just lost our cat Tabby a few months before, and I thought we would never get a cat again. I finally talked my mom into it, and we ended up passing by a free kitten sign on the way home. When we arrived to the persons house, they told us that they only had one cat left. It was a little girl kitten,and I loved her right away. When we brought her home the dogs didn't really like her, and they bullied her. I took her to my room and she slept right beside me on my pillow. We have been close ever since. My mom always says that she sees me as her mommy. I wouldn't doubt it. She scratches at my door, and can't stand being without me. Leaving her for college was one of the most difficult things. When I first got her, I had to leave for Washington D.C. and I cried. I was the only one she had, and it didn't help that the dogs bullied her all the time.
I'm not going to make this a long post, but I just wanted to write about how much she meant to me (which is the entire point of this series). I never thought that I could have so much love for an animal. I love my dogs and everything, but I feel like she is my daughter. Anyways, enough with the writing for tonight. I might blog two times tomorrow. My friend is having her graduation party, and I am going to a funeral tomorrow for one of my Mom's Coworkers. Her dad passed away. Good night world. :)
I'm not going to make this a long post, but I just wanted to write about how much she meant to me (which is the entire point of this series). I never thought that I could have so much love for an animal. I love my dogs and everything, but I feel like she is my daughter. Anyways, enough with the writing for tonight. I might blog two times tomorrow. My friend is having her graduation party, and I am going to a funeral tomorrow for one of my Mom's Coworkers. Her dad passed away. Good night world. :)
Thursday, May 3, 2012
What Matters The Most: My Family
There is nothing that means more to me than my family. I think sometimes that family means a little bit to much. And as much as I could go on and on about all of them, I am choosing certain ones that have been there for me like no other. Just like my friends, these people need to have their own little recognition. :) Sad thing is they will never read this post, but I am going to be sure to read it to them.
Mommy: You are the most inspiring woman I have ever met. You have been there for me for everything in my life. For all of the times that I have been sick, to when I found out I got accepted to Stetson. You never ceased to believe in me, and I know that you never will stop. If there was ever a person I wanted to be like when I grow older it would be you. You have such great faith, and all you want is for others to be happy, and you make sure they are. You do so much for the people at your work, and I know those patients thank you for it. You truly are an angel, and you bring so much wisdom into my life. Every time I screw up or make a wrong decision, you are there to correct and show me the right way. Sometimes it is hard for me to understand, but I know it is for my own good. You love me and you care. I am so happy that I get the honor of being your daughter, and I love you so much. <3
Daddy: You are so crazy, and funny and you just make me laugh all the time. You offer great advise, and you were the one who got me realizing about the fact that there are more things in life other than just marine biology. You told me it would be o.k. to change my mind (even though at the time I didn't want to). For this I am grateful. I know that sometimes it may seem that I don't appreciate the things you do for our family enough, but I want to let you know that I believe that you are the most hard working dad there is. Working all night 12 hour shifts, just to provide food for us. I hope one day I can marry a man that works just as hard as you. I love you dad!
My Dear Aunt Judy: Words can't even come close to describing how much I love you. You and I were always so close, we still are. I remember when I was younger and I would spend the night with you. Those were fun times, and memories that I will always have. I still wear the night shirts that you gave me years ago. They just don't look like I'm wearing a dress anymore. You have always been there for me for everything. You spent your last money for my birthday that one year and got me a Giggles and Go baby doll. I think that was my favorite gift that year. I love that you think about me, and call me asking how I am doing. I wish others would see how amazing you are and give you the attention you deserve. Because if they knew how much they meant to you, they would. That is one thing that I can promise you. I will always be there for you, just like you are there for me. I love you Judy! Thank you for being there, and actually being there.
I wish I had a picture of my Aunt Judy and I on the computer, but I don't. :( Boo.
Mommy: You are the most inspiring woman I have ever met. You have been there for me for everything in my life. For all of the times that I have been sick, to when I found out I got accepted to Stetson. You never ceased to believe in me, and I know that you never will stop. If there was ever a person I wanted to be like when I grow older it would be you. You have such great faith, and all you want is for others to be happy, and you make sure they are. You do so much for the people at your work, and I know those patients thank you for it. You truly are an angel, and you bring so much wisdom into my life. Every time I screw up or make a wrong decision, you are there to correct and show me the right way. Sometimes it is hard for me to understand, but I know it is for my own good. You love me and you care. I am so happy that I get the honor of being your daughter, and I love you so much. <3
Daddy: You are so crazy, and funny and you just make me laugh all the time. You offer great advise, and you were the one who got me realizing about the fact that there are more things in life other than just marine biology. You told me it would be o.k. to change my mind (even though at the time I didn't want to). For this I am grateful. I know that sometimes it may seem that I don't appreciate the things you do for our family enough, but I want to let you know that I believe that you are the most hard working dad there is. Working all night 12 hour shifts, just to provide food for us. I hope one day I can marry a man that works just as hard as you. I love you dad!
My Dear Aunt Judy: Words can't even come close to describing how much I love you. You and I were always so close, we still are. I remember when I was younger and I would spend the night with you. Those were fun times, and memories that I will always have. I still wear the night shirts that you gave me years ago. They just don't look like I'm wearing a dress anymore. You have always been there for me for everything. You spent your last money for my birthday that one year and got me a Giggles and Go baby doll. I think that was my favorite gift that year. I love that you think about me, and call me asking how I am doing. I wish others would see how amazing you are and give you the attention you deserve. Because if they knew how much they meant to you, they would. That is one thing that I can promise you. I will always be there for you, just like you are there for me. I love you Judy! Thank you for being there, and actually being there.
I wish I had a picture of my Aunt Judy and I on the computer, but I don't. :( Boo.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
What Matters The Most to Me: Introduction+my friends
I have decided to try a new thing for my blog. A "What Matters The Most to Me". My goal is blog about all the good things in my life that I love. This is just something I want to try to blog about everyday. I will still do regular blogs. And none of the things that I am saying is in order of importance. Yes, there are some things that are more important to me than others. I just want to remember all the good that I have in my life, even if it is silly, or insignificant. Today I realized that I was going to start the series off with my friends.
My friends:
No words can describe how much my friends mean to me. Since before I can remember, I have always relied on friends to get me through the hard times. I have had friends who have been there for me, and some that I realize today that weren't worth much. But today, I have the greatest friends a girl could ask for. They make me happy, and always offer great advise when I am not being so wise. And for this post, I believe that every one of them should get their own little piece of shine. :)
Brittney Markowitz: Girl, I can say that even though we are thousands of miles apart, that we are closer than ever. I miss you being here for my birthdays, and all the trips to Chuckie Cheese that we had. We have both been there for each other through the great times, and the worst times. I will never forget our last summer together. It was probably the hardest summer I had to go through, but the best also. It was hard to leave that apartment that day, but it was also one of my greatest memories. I know for a fact that we are going to be friends forever, and that retirement home is going to be one heck of a place. Message me later, and I will show you the dream house in Vegas that I like. 9,000,000 dollars. $.$ Love you girl!
Tessa Smith: Tessa Tessa Tessa. I love you. Honestly, your one of the greatest people that I know. I love that I can be myself around you, and that you bring the sunshine out of me, even when I don't want it to. You have been there with me through it all since the 7th grade. You also never gave up on me. I can't say that for many people. You never cease to amaze me. I hope our journey at ASUB is going to be an amazing one, and I hope that someday we might just be Gators. I still hold that dream. And when you become a dentist, I will know that I can trust you with my teeth. I have never met someone so inspiring and funny as you. I love you forever girl!
Anna Hale: Even if your a year younger than I am, I don't really care. When we became friends in History my junior year, I could tell it was the real thing. You are probably the one of the only people that I can hang out with all the time and it not get old or tiring. I am so happy that we will be together at Beebe next year, and hopefully we can hangout, just like in high school. I promise you that in our old home you will get your 1,000 dollars worth of girl scout cookies and your pie closet. I love you that much. :) I also can't wait for our hot guy nurse.
Rachel Flint: :). That is how you make me feel. You make me want to smile all the time. We did so many things our freshman year, and it was a BLAST. We stole oranges, rolled down hills, and many other things that just made my time there great. You have no clue how much I miss you. I miss the times at the swings where we would have legit conversation, and I found my true self (thanks to you). Even though we didn't know each other for long, I feel like I have known you all my life. I don't feel like it was only a short friendship. Your my BEST FRIEND FROM FLORIDA. That is your title. and hopefully I am your BEST FRIEND FROM ARKANSAS. I love you, and miss you, but hopefully I will see you when I come down next week.
And last but certainly not least...Olivia VanCott: You and I had some pretty awesome times together. I miss you and Leo so much. When I realized that my journey at Stetson was over, it hurt me the most to say goodbye to you. I didn't think it would be that soon, and not being able to see you broke my heart. I hope that I will see you and Leo someday. You are truly an amazing person, and I am glad that I became friends with you. I love you.
I love all of you. :)
My friends:
No words can describe how much my friends mean to me. Since before I can remember, I have always relied on friends to get me through the hard times. I have had friends who have been there for me, and some that I realize today that weren't worth much. But today, I have the greatest friends a girl could ask for. They make me happy, and always offer great advise when I am not being so wise. And for this post, I believe that every one of them should get their own little piece of shine. :)
Brittney Markowitz: Girl, I can say that even though we are thousands of miles apart, that we are closer than ever. I miss you being here for my birthdays, and all the trips to Chuckie Cheese that we had. We have both been there for each other through the great times, and the worst times. I will never forget our last summer together. It was probably the hardest summer I had to go through, but the best also. It was hard to leave that apartment that day, but it was also one of my greatest memories. I know for a fact that we are going to be friends forever, and that retirement home is going to be one heck of a place. Message me later, and I will show you the dream house in Vegas that I like. 9,000,000 dollars. $.$ Love you girl!
Tessa Smith: Tessa Tessa Tessa. I love you. Honestly, your one of the greatest people that I know. I love that I can be myself around you, and that you bring the sunshine out of me, even when I don't want it to. You have been there with me through it all since the 7th grade. You also never gave up on me. I can't say that for many people. You never cease to amaze me. I hope our journey at ASUB is going to be an amazing one, and I hope that someday we might just be Gators. I still hold that dream. And when you become a dentist, I will know that I can trust you with my teeth. I have never met someone so inspiring and funny as you. I love you forever girl!
Anna Hale: Even if your a year younger than I am, I don't really care. When we became friends in History my junior year, I could tell it was the real thing. You are probably the one of the only people that I can hang out with all the time and it not get old or tiring. I am so happy that we will be together at Beebe next year, and hopefully we can hangout, just like in high school. I promise you that in our old home you will get your 1,000 dollars worth of girl scout cookies and your pie closet. I love you that much. :) I also can't wait for our hot guy nurse.
Rachel Flint: :). That is how you make me feel. You make me want to smile all the time. We did so many things our freshman year, and it was a BLAST. We stole oranges, rolled down hills, and many other things that just made my time there great. You have no clue how much I miss you. I miss the times at the swings where we would have legit conversation, and I found my true self (thanks to you). Even though we didn't know each other for long, I feel like I have known you all my life. I don't feel like it was only a short friendship. Your my BEST FRIEND FROM FLORIDA. That is your title. and hopefully I am your BEST FRIEND FROM ARKANSAS. I love you, and miss you, but hopefully I will see you when I come down next week.
I love all of you. :)
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