Introducing: Midnight and Finster Cucumber Michaelis

          When I was in Florida, I got the honor of adopting two amazing Betta fish. The first one that I adopted is Finny. I found him at PetCo when he was just a guppy. I didn't really know if he was a Betta or not, but either way I was in love with him. As a baby Betta, I didn't know the gender of him, until a few days ago. A male. :) That is Finny a few days after bringing him home. He was a very active fish.

         About a week after getting Finny, I adopted Midnight. I was in Biology lab and one of the professors asked if anyone wanted a Betta fish. The people who were going back there didn't seem like very responsible people, so I decided I would save a Betta. I went back there and that is when I met him. He was the last one, and I spoke up before anyone else to make sure that I got him. He looked rough, and wasn't very happy. The professor said he wouldn't eat or anything so he might not survive. Apparently they used these Betta fish as lab experiments, so you really can't blame him. For the longest time he hated me. He wouldn't eat, and wouldn't swim. For the longest time I didn't think he would make it. But eventually after giving him tons of love and care, he started swimming and making happy bubbles. I have loved him ever since.

          I never thought I could love two fish, the way I love these two. I love them just as much as I loved my old Betta Samana. I was just glad they survived the trip home. Finny is growing up so fast! Who knew he would grow up to be a male, and so beautiful. I will update his picture again once he is grown a little more. But here is a recent picture (sorry, he doesn't like to stay still for photos).

A New Day

Today had a really off start. It was my fault, and I feel horrible about it. I learned from my mistake though. After this mornings events happened, I started thinking about some things that happened in my past, things that I never let go. I talked to my mother about these things (bawled actually). She told me I just needed to forgive, and that people can't change their past. I understand what she was saying, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt just the same. I don't think other people get what some things mean to me. Like not showing up for my graduation for instance. I am not going to say who wasn't there that upset me, but I will tell you that I cried. I looked all over Verizon Arena looking for that person, and they didn't show up. I was disappointed. Beyond that. And then there is people who never thought I would make it at Stetson. I believe I was staying there just so that I could prove that person wrong, and it ended up hurting me at the end. I said this in my last post, but all I needed was some encouragement, to say that I could do it. Did I get that? No. I always get the short end of the stick and I am sick and tired of letting it get to me. So that is where I am coming in to say that I am going to prove every person who never believed in me wrong. For every person who let me down, I am going to show them that it was their loss, not mine. And most important of all, I am going to be there with my friends who are not just like my family, they are my family. Because they wont let me down. I am going to make all good grades in my classes, and transfer somewhere great where I can get into medical school. I'm not saying it will be easy, cause it wont be. But I will do it. And if I decide to change my mind, then so be it. That will because it is my choice, not because I couldn't do it. Thank you Tessa for helping me realize all this. We aren't losers, and as long as we have each other, we can conquer the world. Love you girl.

Lack of Faith

Tonight I am a little off because I wish people would have a little faith me. I have been working SOO hard to try to find a place to get my CNA license, but it just so happens to cost like  800 dollars which I don't have. So I found out that the hospital that I want to work for will get your training for you, but you have to have a few connections. So my connection that I asked asked if I was sure because it is "hard" and "dirty". I know what it is, and I can do it. Ever since I have decided not to be a marine biologist, I have been lost and upset that I have no clue what I want to do with my life. But now I have decided. I am not saying that it isn't going to change, but I haven't felt this happy and excited for something career wise since the 7th grade. I was thinking an OB-GYN or Pathology (both requiring a PhD) And yes...I know this requires medical school which is really really hard to get in. I will save people the breath from telling me that because I know it will come up. But instead of criticizing me and my choices, I don't see why people wont encourage me. Just because I am a Stetson drop out doesn't mean that I am a loser. It doesn't mean that I am stupid. I lost interest and here I am. For all the people out there thinking that I can't, I can and I will. So save your breath and if you have any encouragement to offer me, then you can speak. Otherwise I don't care to hear your opinions. I have full motivation on doing this. Yes it will disgusting, but at least I will have fun doing it. So there. There is my post telling all the people who have let me down the past 8 years to keep their minds to themselves.

Arkansas State University- Beebe

I remember I used to say that I would never attend ASUB. Now look me, I am attending there. I am actually pretty excited to go there. I think I might have figured out what I want to do with my life. It didn't take long really. I am thinking Pathology. Forensic Pathology to be exact. My adviser emailed me, and I told him what I want to be, and he didn't really say much on it. He must be new because he didn't even tell me where his office is. I guess maybe its because I have the standards that Stetson had still in  my head. We had a set appointment time, they told you exactly what you needed to know. What about if I don't get that with Beebe. I know its a community college and all, but shouldn't they at least care? I haven't even been on the ASUB campus before. I find it weird to not even be a student yet, walk right in his office. I guess its just going to take a little bit to getting used to. I am probably going to go there on Monday to get everything all set up. I have a schedule already made up, so hopefully I can get into all of those classes.

I Am On A Mission.

So, I was thinking in bed last night and I have come up with a challenge and goal for myself. Tessa was showing me this Warrior Race thing, and it looked pretty cool. I know for sure I couldn't do it this year, but my goal is to do it either next year or in two years. Its better than saying I am going to lose weight just because. Now I have a reason to do it. It seems like fun, and it would be for a good cause. So I am going to workout everyday, even if it is just to dance around like a fool for an hour. I am very excited to do it. Also, I sent in my money due to Stetson, and should be able to take summer online classes this summer. I was SO HAPPY. Today I am going to hang out with my cousin Skyler, and on Friday she is spending the night. I guess that is another thing that is nice about being home. I can be an example for her, and be there for her when she goes through her teen years. She was always a best friend to me, even when she was a baby. We have always been close. I am just glad that I can be home for her, even though I have full intentions on not living in Arkansas for long. All I need is to figure out what I want to do with my life, and fulfil it. :)

I love my life

So my friend Tessa told me that I should blog, so I am blogging. Nothing really has been happening to me lately other than that I got a new desk. I would take a picture and post it, but I am still getting things set up on it. That actually made my weekend: A desk. How lame am I? I posted this weird video on Tessa's wall and it made me laugh SO HARD. Like for real. It was so stupid. It was a Japanese hair commercial to Happy and You Know It and their hair like parted ways and made a clapping noise. So stupid right? It makes me remember why I love StumbleUpon so much. I get the most random crap. Everything has settled down since I have gotten home. People have stopped asking if I am home for spring break, so the shock has gone down. I love being home, and LOVE LOVE LOVE that I get to see my friend Tessa more. She literally makes my day...like everyday. I hope that I can meet her man soon. He seems to be a pretty chill guy. As long as she is happy then I am happy. Well I have nothing more to say  other than that I LOVE TESSA! haha. I will blog soon.