It's been a while

Hello readers (if I have any),

It has been quite some time since I have blogged, and quite a few things have happened since I last blogged. First of all, my job is going really really well. I was worried before it all began since I was never really a people person, but now I don't even worry about that. I am glad that I went out of my comfort zone and decided to be a CNA. I have had a lot of wonderful patients, and I am learning so much in the medical filed which is making me want to become a Doctor even more.
         School is going well. It's hard to work nights and go to school during the day, but in the end it will all be worth it. I plan on transferring either next fall or next spring. I haven't exactly thought everything through yet. I'm ready of going on to my next adventure in life, which brings me to my next topic.

          I know before that I was going all out about UF, which is a really nice school. I still love my gators, but honestly its gonna cost to much, and I think I need a whole new start with states. SOOOOOOOOO.... I have decided that I want to attend UNLV (University of Nevada: Las Vegas). Yes, I am aware that it is totally different than Florida, and that is what I love about it. I have always been the one to want to go to other places and travel the world, and it just seems right. Now some of you might be asking "Why UNLV"? Well the answer to that is that 1. My parents wont let me move to California, and 2. My best friend and her family live out there. This would make it possible to go West and not be totally alone. I know that most people know Las Vegas to be known as sin city, but it is much more than that. They have the most beautiful mountains, and the terrain is just to die for. The diversity of people is so great, and that is just everything that Arkansas doesn't offer. I believe that I am meant to be in Las Vegas for some reason. I want to prove that a girl with good values can make it in Las Vegas, and who knows. Maybe I can teach people what I know, and invite them to church. That could be my purpose there. I just know that I love it out there. If you haven't been to Las Vegas I totally recommend you going. There is stuff to do for the entire family. It isn't just gambling, and partying.

         So that has been my life for the last couple of months. Nothing has really changed other than my dreams to move else where. If you are reading this and you want to move away for college but scared to, my advise for you is to JUST DO IT. Yes, it might get scary sometimes, but you get so much more out of life. You get to learn new cultures and new ways of life. Anyways, I better get off here and finish this project. Later guys. :)

My life is officially boring.

          Only 5 more days until I start my new job. I am so excited. Finally I get to start. I have gone to 4 days of nursing training, and it was so fun. Well the lecture part was a little tiring, but overall I learned a lot. It seems like this orientation process was so long (it was like a month long). In that time of orientation I got to meet a lot of RN's who had just graduated from nursing school. I thought they had the most interesting conversations. I love listening to people talk about medical stuff. I don't want to be an RN, but I am interested in everything that is above what a CNA does. I am hoping that I will have a chance to learn stuff while working. It should be helpful for when I become a med student. Notice that I have dropped the IF. I am determined.
           School will be starting soon. I am so excited. I am taking 6 classes and one of them is a Piano class. I am pretty stoked for that. Once I become a ninja piano player, I might post a video to show my progress. Just maybe. haha. Nothing real exciting has happened to me lately. I live a boring life. I have just been sitting around watching youtube videos on how to organize your planner. Yes, I am lame. I am well aware. Well this is going to be short blog. I need to go on more adventures. Boo. Well I will try to blog soon once I get started on my job. Later everyone!

Blah!

                  I am writing this blog not knowing what to talk about....like at all. I am doing this for my best friend Tessa. I could go on and on about how I am STILL waiting on to start my job, or how I can't wait for school to start, but no. Not this blog. There has been something lately that has been getting on my nerves. A certain someone actually (no Tessa, it isn't you haha). I have been working hard lately keeping my grades up in school. Not that the class is hard or anything, but just keeping up with everything. I understand that certain people may want to see me, and that it has been way to long, but I have other things to do with my time. I am trying to stop being on facebook all the time, and trying to get in the real world. I don't have a free minute every single day. If I don't reply to you, maybe it is because I am busy. I don't owe you a conversation.I don't have to talk to you every single time I get on facebook. I have a life, and I am sorry if you aren't my main concern. Actually, I am not sorry.

                   O.K. I'm done. :) That was the rant on the post. Things have been going really well lately. I am doing well in my college class, and on Monday it ends. The Final. Those two words use to scare me, but now it doesn't. I am not prepared yet, but by the end of tomorrow I will be. Thankfully I have a great friend like Tessa Smith to help me study. Who just NOW told me about her new puppy. I feel outraged! lol just kidding. I want to watch Harry Potter. I know this is random, but it is indeed a fact. I have this final to study for though. So no Harry Potter for me. :( Ok. Well there is noooo way that this is going to be a long blog like Tessa. Soo I am going to go. I will post a new blog when something interesting comes up.

Nervous and Excited. A Start To My New Life

        Wow it has been a while since I have blogged. Not sure if this is going to be a long blog or not, but either way I am blogging. This past week I have been in orientation for my new job at a hospital. I am going to be a Nursing Assistant. It isn't an RN or LPN, but it is a start in health care. I was trying to figure out what made me want to be in healthcare. You could have asked anyone before and most likely they would tell you that I wouldn't have done it. None of this came clear to me until Thursday when I was at the hospital with my Aunt Judy (the same hospital that I am going to be working for). She was getting a simple procedure done. It was then that I realized that SHE is the reason I wanted to go into the medical field. I cannot remember a time when she was in the hospital, that I wasn't there for her. I always read her the vital signs, and made it seem like I knew what I was talking about. Funny right?
          I am not exactly sure when I am going to start training, but I am more than ready. I am also really nervous. Like really nervous. I don't even think it is the fact that I am nervous to start, but nervous as in not being able to succeed. I am sure everything will be fine. I keep telling myself that. I am just glad that for a month I will be in training. So its not like I am going to be thrown in there and be expected to be a pro nurse aid. Cause I don't think that is possible.
         I also have decided that I have no clue where I want to go to college after ASU Beebe. I do want to go to UF, but I am also considering some other schools. Like University of Nevada: Las Vegas. Don't ask me why, but my friend brought it up. It has been in my mind ever since. I also wouldn't be alone. I have a whole family to support me up there. I have just been getting the urge to move West for a while now. I have also been considering schools from up north. Massachusetts, Washington...etc. My mind and heart belongs everywhere. I might just find a bunch of schools and put them on my wall. Eliminate them until I find the perfect school for me and my future as a Pre Med student. I'm not looking just for the perfect home, but a place that will benefit me for my future. I have decided to take this year as a time of reflection. I need to look at my life and see where I need to be. ME. Not anyone else. I am going to take this year to focus on a few of the following.

1. Where I want to go to school
2. Making sure the medical field is for me
3. Save up money, instead of spending it (more of a goal than a reflection LOL)
4. ASU Beebe -need to focus on my studies now.


       That is pretty much all I can think of for now. I am sure there is more. All I know is that the times ahead are going to be exceptionally challenging. I am about to take on a full time job and be a full time student. I plan on working at night time and then going to school during the day. Hopefully I don't crash and burn. That wouldn't be good on either part. I will keep everyone posted about it. :) I will try to blog again soon.

Grey's Anatomy

           For the last three days I have done nothing other than watch Grey's Anatomy. Sure, I could be doing something more useful with my time, but I find the show so intriguing. I think anyone who wants to be a Doctor should watch this show. Not because it has a great storyline (not to mention the lead Doctor is HOT), but because it really shows you how stressful it is to become one. Everyone in the show is trying to become surgeons, but in a way its all the same. Personally, I could never be a surgeon. A surgeon has to think on their feet and be on top of their game. I respect them.  I would end up freaking out. Watching this show has freaked me out.
         
          I find this incredibly silly, but this show has got me thinking about if I were to become a Doctor. I think the most that I thought about was what would happen when I want to have kids. I am pretty sure being a mom and a Doctor would be quite difficult. Living a normal life would be difficult. I have been torn, and the thing is I shouldn't be. I haven't even gotten back to school yet, and I am thinking about what would happen. Silly...right?
          
           Along with the show being awesome, there are a few things that discourage me about it. For one, some of the characters on the show should not be Doctors. I believe that Doctors should care, and have excellent bed side manners. I mean your saving people's lives. Secondly, all of these interns came from Dartmouth, Yale, and a bunch of other high maintenance schools. It's making me think that I have no chance whatsoever. My grades in high school were horrible, and my first college experience was horrible. What about if I do make all good grades from now on, and I STILL don't get in. How much of a bummer would that be? All that work for nothing. I do believe that they show how much work it is. That they have correct. Just imagine being there performing surgery, and the next thing you know the person is coding, or one of their blood vessels burst. You have to know what to do, and where to do it. That is why I think being a Pathologist would be awesome. You don't have to really worry about saving a life last minute. I don't want to be responsible for losing someone during the surgery.

          Anyways, the whole point of this blog isn't really to talk about how awesome this show is, and how becoming a Doctor is taking over my conscience. I got a call from Baptist Health today and they want me to come in for an interview. I didn't think they were going to call me, so I had given up on working there. When I listened to the voice mail, I hesitated calling them back. I doubted myself working with people, and fear came over me. I have always been that person who wanted to work behind the scenes, or by myself. Taking care of people has been a fear of mine. I don't honestly know what made me call them back, but I decided that it is time that I face my fears. For people that end up reading this, you also should face your fears. Step out of your comfort zone. On Friday I am going to be stepping out of mine. I hope Baptist will give me a chance. That is all I really want, a chance. Maybe being a nurse will make me want to be a Doctor even more, maybe not. All I know is that it is time for me to step out of my shell, and finally grow up.

Things I Miss About High School

            My mom asked me the other day if I could change one thing about something I did in High School, what would it be? I told her I wouldn't change a thing because it wouldn't have made me who I am today. Now thinking back on it there are a few things I would change.

• I would change how I poorly studied. 
• I would have tried so much harder.
• I would have taken medical classes. 
•  I would have actually practiced for band, and tried out for All-Region.
• I would have stayed in volleyball
• I wouldn't have dated losers. 
• And countless of others....

         The fact is, I can't change what happened in High School. I wish I would have tried harder, and actually try. All of that is in the past, and all I can do now is change the way I am. I have to study more, and actually study.  I was never good at taking notes and study methods, but now I am willing to learn (its still possible right?).

        The point of this blog isn't really the things I would change, but really the things I miss most about High School. I am not saying I miss High School, but there are a few things that I do miss. I miss flagline most of all. It was tough to be in flag line. Mr. Trusty didn't really like to wait on us to place our flags so we had to run. It was physically, mentally, and emotionally wonderful. That feeling of a crowd watching you as you run gracefully. It was probably the thing I loved most about high school. Now I don't do it. That makes me sad. But as I have said in previous blog posts, I am going to start spinning again. I don't think I should give it up, even if I am not in band. I also miss the schedule that I had. I didn't really like having school at 8 am, but at least I didn't have a severe sleep disorder then. Being on routine was easy in high school. Now it is just hectic.

       Even though I do miss a few things about high school, I would never go through it again. The drama isn't worth it. I can say that I had a pretty fair high school experience though. :) And that is one thing that I am grateful for.

A New Dream, Hopefully Soon To Be A Reality

                 I was thinking the other day about a Gator football game that I went to last year. I can still hear the crazy crowd as they cheer and do the Gator chomp. The entire time at the game I felt like I really belonged there. I didn't really get to see much of the campus, other than that it was beautiful. It wasn't really the campus or the game that got me though. It was the band. I saw the Gator Flag line and I fell completely in love. I don't really know if it was because they were awesome, or if it was just because I miss spinning a flag and dancing. Either way, it felt good. Ever since I started watching countless Gator videos, I have realized that going to UF would be AMAZING.
                 
             I used to want to go there back in 10th grade, but something changed my mind. Tessa and I were going to go there together. We literally had everything planned out. I miss dreaming like that. So, I am going to make it my goal to make it into UF. I know it is going to be difficult, but I am sooo determined. Anything to get me on that flag line, that spotlight. Performing in front of 10,000's of people would be so fulfilling. I never really got that moment in Cabot flag line where you have shivers going up your spine. I think it would be amazing.

                Another thought I was having was when I first started wanting to do something medical related. My Aunt Judy was in the hospital, and I was spending my entire winter break with  her. Then one day I just stopped in the middle of the hospital, and looked around. I could see Doctors and nurses walking graceful and confident. A feeling of belonging kind of swooped over me. I ignored this feeling, and now I kind of wish I hadn't. I should have embraced the fact that I was contemplating over a different career opportunity.
     
              As for why I have decided to go toward the Forensic Pathology side of the medical field, I have no clue. I found it when I was doing some stupid career interest test and when I looked it up, I was hooked. I think University of Florida could get me there. I have decided not to even make goals about medical school or graduate school. I just want to take it one day at a time. I might change my mind, and I am o.k with that. I used to think it was a curse to not know what you want to do with your life, but I am finding it to be kind of fulfilling. All I do know, is that I want to be a University of Florida student. And I am going to try my hardest to get in. I know it will difficult, and I realize that I need to change my study habits, but I want to do this.


P.s. The whole 'What Matters The Most' thing is over. :P I got a little bored with it.

What Matters The Most: My Life and Health

          O.k. So this might seem a little selfish and might make me seem self absorbed. But, this is a really true statement. I'm not saying that my life matters the most, but I am thankful that I have my life and the good health that I have. There are so many people with fatal diseases, and I haven't had to go through that (knock on wood) in my life. It just makes me think about how we take life for granted. We went to a funeral today and he was only 61 years old. That is young. The preacher was talking about how he never complained about how he was feeling, even though you could tell he was feeling bad. Also, when he asked how he was he would say "Better than I deserve". Do many people say that? No. They go on and on about how this is hurting them, or how tired they are. Boo hoo, there are people with cancer fighting for their life who complain less than you do. Be thankful you are alive and well. This also made me think about how one minute you can be alive and the next gone. Makes me appreciate life much more. I just thought that since today I went to this funeral, that I would blog about. Kinda makes a combo of normal blog/ What matters the most.

        I went to my friend's graduation party today. I had so much fun. Her family is so nice. I really just enjoyed hanging out with her though. I was over at her house for like 8 hours. I was the last person to go  home. I even got to eat dinner with the family. Well I should probably get off and get some sleep. Sweet dreams world. :)

What Matters The Most: Abigail Suzanne Michaelis

            I could go on for hours about how much my cat means to me. But to save you the details, I am just going to rant about certain things that I love about her. I remember when I first got her. We had just lost our cat Tabby a few months before, and I thought we would never get a cat again. I finally talked my mom into it, and we ended up passing by a free kitten sign on the way home. When we arrived to the persons house, they told us that they only had one cat left. It was a little girl kitten,and I loved her right away. When we brought her home the dogs didn't really like her, and they bullied her. I took her to my room and she slept right beside me on my pillow. We have been close ever since. My mom always says that she sees me as her mommy. I wouldn't doubt it. She scratches at my door, and can't stand being without me. Leaving her for college was one of the most difficult things. When I first got her, I had to leave for Washington D.C. and I cried. I was the only one she had, and it didn't help that the dogs bullied her all the time.
           I'm not going to make this a long post, but I just wanted to write about how much she meant to me (which is the entire point of this series). I never thought that I could have so much love for an animal. I love my dogs and everything, but I feel like she is my daughter. Anyways, enough with the writing for tonight. I might blog two times tomorrow. My friend is having her graduation party, and I am going to a funeral tomorrow for one of my Mom's Coworkers. Her dad passed away. Good night world. :)

 

What Matters The Most: My Family

         There is nothing that means more to me than my family. I think sometimes that family means a little bit to much.  And as much as I could go on and on about all of them, I am choosing certain ones that have been there for me like no other. Just like my friends, these people need to have their own little recognition. :) Sad thing is they will never read this post, but I am going to be sure to read it to them.

Mommy: You are the most inspiring woman I have ever met. You have been there for me for everything in my life. For all of the times that I have been sick, to when I found out I got accepted to Stetson. You never ceased to believe in me, and I know that you never will stop. If there was ever a person I wanted to be like when I grow older it would be you. You have such great faith, and all you want is for others to be happy, and you make sure they are. You do so much for the people at your work, and I know those patients thank you for it. You truly are an angel, and you bring so much wisdom into my life. Every time I screw up or make a wrong decision, you are there to correct and show me the right way. Sometimes it is hard for me to understand, but I know it is for my own good. You love me and you care. I am so happy that I get the honor of being your daughter, and I love you so much. <3

Daddy: You are so crazy, and funny and you just make me laugh all the time. You offer great advise, and you were the one who got me realizing about the fact that there are more things in life other than just marine biology. You told me it would be o.k. to change my mind (even though at the time I didn't want to). For this I am grateful. I know that sometimes it may seem that I don't appreciate the things you do for our family enough, but I want to let you know that I believe that you are the  most hard working dad there is. Working all night 12 hour shifts, just to provide food for us. I hope one day I can marry a man that works just as hard as you. I love you dad!

My Dear Aunt Judy: Words can't even come close to describing how much I love you. You and I were always so close, we still are. I remember when I was younger and I would spend the night with you. Those were fun times, and memories that I will always have. I still wear the night shirts that you gave me years ago. They just don't look like I'm wearing a dress anymore. You have always been there for me for everything. You spent your last money for my birthday that one year and got me a Giggles and Go baby doll. I think that was my favorite gift that year. I love that you think about me, and call me asking how I am doing. I wish others would see how amazing you are and give you the attention you deserve. Because if they knew how much they meant to you, they would. That is one thing that I can promise you. I will always be there for you, just like you are there for me. I love you Judy! Thank you for being there, and actually being there.

I wish I had a picture of my Aunt Judy and I on the computer, but I don't. :( Boo.

What Matters The Most to Me: Introduction+my friends

          I have decided to try a new thing for my blog. A "What Matters The Most to Me". My goal is blog about all the good things in my life that I love. This is just something I want to try to blog about everyday. I will still do regular blogs. And none of the things that I am saying is in order of importance. Yes, there are some things that are more important to me than others. I just want to remember all the good that I have in my life, even if it is silly, or insignificant. Today I realized that I was going to start the series off with my friends.

My friends:
      No words can describe how much my friends mean to me. Since before I can remember, I have always relied on friends to get me through the hard times. I have had friends who have been there for me, and some that I realize today that weren't worth much. But today, I have the greatest friends a girl could ask for. They make me happy, and always offer great advise when I am not being so wise. And for this post, I believe that every one of them should get their own little piece of shine. :)

Brittney Markowitz: Girl, I can say that even though we are thousands of miles apart, that we are closer than ever. I miss you being here for my birthdays, and all the trips to Chuckie Cheese that we had. We have both been there for each other through the great times, and the worst times. I will never forget our last summer together. It was probably the hardest summer I had to go through, but the best also. It was hard to leave that apartment that day, but it was also one of my greatest memories. I know for a fact that we are going to be friends forever, and that retirement home is going to be one heck of a place. Message me later, and I will show you the dream house in Vegas that I like. 9,000,000 dollars. $.$ Love you girl!

Tessa Smith: Tessa Tessa Tessa. I love you. Honestly,  your one of the greatest people that I know. I love that I can be myself around you, and that you bring the sunshine out of me, even when I don't want it to. You have been there with me through it all since the 7th grade. You also never gave up on me. I can't say that for many people. You never cease to amaze me. I hope our journey at ASUB is going to be an amazing one, and I hope that someday we might just be Gators. I still hold that dream. And when you become a dentist, I will know that I can trust you with my teeth. I have never met someone so inspiring and funny as you. I love you forever girl!

Anna Hale: Even if your a year younger than I am, I don't really care. When we became friends in History my junior year, I could tell it was the real thing. You are probably the one of the only people that I can hang out with all the time and it not get old or tiring. I am so happy that we will be together at Beebe next year, and hopefully we can hangout, just like in high school. I promise you that in our old home you will get your 1,000 dollars worth of girl scout cookies and your pie closet. I love you that much. :) I also can't wait for our hot guy nurse.

Rachel Flint: :). That is how you make me feel. You make me want to smile all the time. We did so many things our freshman year, and it was a BLAST. We stole oranges, rolled down hills, and many other things that just made my time there great. You have no clue how much I miss you. I miss the times at the swings where we would have legit conversation, and I found my true self (thanks to you). Even though we didn't know each other for long, I feel like I have known you all my life. I don't feel like it was only  a short friendship. Your my BEST FRIEND FROM FLORIDA. That is your title. and hopefully I am your BEST FRIEND FROM ARKANSAS. I love you, and miss you, but hopefully I will see you when I come down next week.

And last but certainly not least...Olivia VanCott: You and I had some pretty awesome times together. I miss you and Leo so much. When I realized that my journey at Stetson was over, it hurt me the most to say goodbye to you. I didn't think it would be that soon, and not being able to see you broke my heart. I hope that I will see you and Leo someday. You are truly an amazing person, and I am glad that I became friends with you. I love you.

I love all of you. :)

Introducing: Midnight and Finster Cucumber Michaelis

          When I was in Florida, I got the honor of adopting two amazing Betta fish. The first one that I adopted is Finny. I found him at PetCo when he was just a guppy. I didn't really know if he was a Betta or not, but either way I was in love with him. As a baby Betta, I didn't know the gender of him, until a few days ago. A male. :) That is Finny a few days after bringing him home. He was a very active fish.

         About a week after getting Finny, I adopted Midnight. I was in Biology lab and one of the professors asked if anyone wanted a Betta fish. The people who were going back there didn't seem like very responsible people, so I decided I would save a Betta. I went back there and that is when I met him. He was the last one, and I spoke up before anyone else to make sure that I got him. He looked rough, and wasn't very happy. The professor said he wouldn't eat or anything so he might not survive. Apparently they used these Betta fish as lab experiments, so you really can't blame him. For the longest time he hated me. He wouldn't eat, and wouldn't swim. For the longest time I didn't think he would make it. But eventually after giving him tons of love and care, he started swimming and making happy bubbles. I have loved him ever since.

          I never thought I could love two fish, the way I love these two. I love them just as much as I loved my old Betta Samana. I was just glad they survived the trip home. Finny is growing up so fast! Who knew he would grow up to be a male, and so beautiful. I will update his picture again once he is grown a little more. But here is a recent picture (sorry, he doesn't like to stay still for photos).

A New Day

Today had a really off start. It was my fault, and I feel horrible about it. I learned from my mistake though. After this mornings events happened, I started thinking about some things that happened in my past, things that I never let go. I talked to my mother about these things (bawled actually). She told me I just needed to forgive, and that people can't change their past. I understand what she was saying, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt just the same. I don't think other people get what some things mean to me. Like not showing up for my graduation for instance. I am not going to say who wasn't there that upset me, but I will tell you that I cried. I looked all over Verizon Arena looking for that person, and they didn't show up. I was disappointed. Beyond that. And then there is people who never thought I would make it at Stetson. I believe I was staying there just so that I could prove that person wrong, and it ended up hurting me at the end. I said this in my last post, but all I needed was some encouragement, to say that I could do it. Did I get that? No. I always get the short end of the stick and I am sick and tired of letting it get to me. So that is where I am coming in to say that I am going to prove every person who never believed in me wrong. For every person who let me down, I am going to show them that it was their loss, not mine. And most important of all, I am going to be there with my friends who are not just like my family, they are my family. Because they wont let me down. I am going to make all good grades in my classes, and transfer somewhere great where I can get into medical school. I'm not saying it will be easy, cause it wont be. But I will do it. And if I decide to change my mind, then so be it. That will because it is my choice, not because I couldn't do it. Thank you Tessa for helping me realize all this. We aren't losers, and as long as we have each other, we can conquer the world. Love you girl.

Lack of Faith

Tonight I am a little off because I wish people would have a little faith me. I have been working SOO hard to try to find a place to get my CNA license, but it just so happens to cost like  800 dollars which I don't have. So I found out that the hospital that I want to work for will get your training for you, but you have to have a few connections. So my connection that I asked asked if I was sure because it is "hard" and "dirty". I know what it is, and I can do it. Ever since I have decided not to be a marine biologist, I have been lost and upset that I have no clue what I want to do with my life. But now I have decided. I am not saying that it isn't going to change, but I haven't felt this happy and excited for something career wise since the 7th grade. I was thinking an OB-GYN or Pathology (both requiring a PhD) And yes...I know this requires medical school which is really really hard to get in. I will save people the breath from telling me that because I know it will come up. But instead of criticizing me and my choices, I don't see why people wont encourage me. Just because I am a Stetson drop out doesn't mean that I am a loser. It doesn't mean that I am stupid. I lost interest and here I am. For all the people out there thinking that I can't, I can and I will. So save your breath and if you have any encouragement to offer me, then you can speak. Otherwise I don't care to hear your opinions. I have full motivation on doing this. Yes it will disgusting, but at least I will have fun doing it. So there. There is my post telling all the people who have let me down the past 8 years to keep their minds to themselves.

Arkansas State University- Beebe

I remember I used to say that I would never attend ASUB. Now look me, I am attending there. I am actually pretty excited to go there. I think I might have figured out what I want to do with my life. It didn't take long really. I am thinking Pathology. Forensic Pathology to be exact. My adviser emailed me, and I told him what I want to be, and he didn't really say much on it. He must be new because he didn't even tell me where his office is. I guess maybe its because I have the standards that Stetson had still in  my head. We had a set appointment time, they told you exactly what you needed to know. What about if I don't get that with Beebe. I know its a community college and all, but shouldn't they at least care? I haven't even been on the ASUB campus before. I find it weird to not even be a student yet, walk right in his office. I guess its just going to take a little bit to getting used to. I am probably going to go there on Monday to get everything all set up. I have a schedule already made up, so hopefully I can get into all of those classes.

I Am On A Mission.

So, I was thinking in bed last night and I have come up with a challenge and goal for myself. Tessa was showing me this Warrior Race thing, and it looked pretty cool. I know for sure I couldn't do it this year, but my goal is to do it either next year or in two years. Its better than saying I am going to lose weight just because. Now I have a reason to do it. It seems like fun, and it would be for a good cause. So I am going to workout everyday, even if it is just to dance around like a fool for an hour. I am very excited to do it. Also, I sent in my money due to Stetson, and should be able to take summer online classes this summer. I was SO HAPPY. Today I am going to hang out with my cousin Skyler, and on Friday she is spending the night. I guess that is another thing that is nice about being home. I can be an example for her, and be there for her when she goes through her teen years. She was always a best friend to me, even when she was a baby. We have always been close. I am just glad that I can be home for her, even though I have full intentions on not living in Arkansas for long. All I need is to figure out what I want to do with my life, and fulfil it. :)

I love my life

So my friend Tessa told me that I should blog, so I am blogging. Nothing really has been happening to me lately other than that I got a new desk. I would take a picture and post it, but I am still getting things set up on it. That actually made my weekend: A desk. How lame am I? I posted this weird video on Tessa's wall and it made me laugh SO HARD. Like for real. It was so stupid. It was a Japanese hair commercial to Happy and You Know It and their hair like parted ways and made a clapping noise. So stupid right? It makes me remember why I love StumbleUpon so much. I get the most random crap. Everything has settled down since I have gotten home. People have stopped asking if I am home for spring break, so the shock has gone down. I love being home, and LOVE LOVE LOVE that I get to see my friend Tessa more. She literally makes my day...like everyday. I hope that I can meet her man soon. He seems to be a pretty chill guy. As long as she is happy then I am happy. Well I have nothing more to say  other than that I LOVE TESSA! haha. I will blog soon.

Vets and Pets: My Summer Job

                 Now that I am back in Arkansas, it is imperative that I get my old job back. I worked at Vets and Pets during the summer and it was my first job. I loved it and had a lot of fun, but it was also very stressful. I have been trying to get the courage for days to call my boss up to see when he wants me to start working again. I made the initial contact before and requested the week off (to get unpacked and settled back). Now I feel like it is an obstacle just calling. I'm scared to go back. I only had 3 months of experience, and I have gone many months without lifting a finger. I know it is silly to be scared but I am. There were a lot of great times at Vets and Pets, but there were also times that was what made me scared of getting a job in the first place. Failure. I don't like messing up and getting in trouble. I don't like going in not knowing when I am having lunch, or when I get to leave. I honestly don't know how much I got paid an hour. Even though I don't live a very routine life, I do like routine. I finally made the call to the vet clinic today, so hopefully they will call me back. I don't like running from my fears, so this is a good step for me. I know its going to take a few days to get back into the routine, but I will get there. :) Also today I called ASU Beebe to see if I could just send in my high school transcripts since my college ones weren't going to do any good (plus Stetson won't release them), and that was a NO. So I don't know if I will be able to do online classes this summer. :/ I hope something looks up in the next few days.

Turning Dreams Into a Reality

             So, these last few weeks have been rough for me so I thought I would vent it all out in a brand new blog for a brand new me. For starters, I am not going to be a marine biologist and I have dropped out at Stetson University. I have gone on and on for years how I would never change mind about being one, but I have. I don't really know why other than the fact that I am not that into it anymore. I feel as if I was doing it because that is all I have ever been known to do. Leaving Stetson was very hard for me. I loved the campus and everyone there, but I lacked motivation to succeed, and I took the freedom that I had and abused it. It wasn't because I COULDN'T handle the work or I wasn't smart enough. It was all me.
             Now I am back in Arkansas and honestly I have never been more happier. I am bummed about not being in Florida, but I am making it my personal goal to go back as soon as I can. I need to stay here for a few years, and get my basics done. It might also help if I figure out what I want to do with my life. I have so many things in mind like a criminal science investigator, OB-GYN, meteorologist. I guess I need to do a little research. I am so happy that I can finally start all over again, and create more dreams. Except now I am ready to make dreams into reality. I wouldn't have made it through all this if I hadn't have had my friends and family with me.

• Tessa and Brittney: You guys truly rock. You guys helped me through this change by being there for me even if it wasn't literally by my side. And Tessa, spending the night with you at UCA showed me how much I was happy to be home, and that Arkansas isn't that much of a drag as long as your there with me. 

• Rachel: Girl, I miss you so much, and you made Stetson the best experience of my life. I will never forget any of the crazy, stupid things that we did. I hope we can stay friends and still have crazy adventures. (we are going to that skrillex concert). 

• Olivia: Girl, I miss you too. You probably wont read this, but even though you upset me and disappointed me I still love you. Go out for your dreams and conquer them. 

• Kelly: Thank you for helping me move and thanks for really being there for me the last few days of  being in Florida. I honestly don't think I could have made it without you. We had a very rocky friendship at first, but now that everything is all good I say we are more solid than ever. 

• And the most important ones of all My Parents: You guys will never read  this because you guys don't blog, or read blogs and that is o.k. You guys were there for me through it all. You were understanding and supportive the entire time that I was at Stetson (and my entire life). Thank you for raising me right, and teaching me that I can do anything that I put my mind into. I love all of you guys, and I can't wait to start this new journey...of being me.